What not to say to a “skinny” person

Do you know what grinds my gears, as a “small-figured” person? The comments others say about my figure. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like my size. I just get tired of hearing the same comments over and over and over again. I’ve had my small frame for years. Many people talked about being picked on for being fat, but for me I was being picked on for being skinny. I was attending a predominantly black elementary school growing up and boy, was I ashamed of my figure. Back then, I didn’t have my “extra package.” I had a tiny waist, and my arms and legs were thin. Many classmates would compare my arm to theirs and was like “Dang Darnisha, you are bony, you are anorexic!” SIDE NOTE: The biggest irony is that those same people that were so obsessed over my “skinny” body were the same ones that would beg for my food during lunch. I mean why bug the mess out of me being skinny if your greedy selves would eat off my plate. What made me mad the most was when the younger kids would ask me if my parents feed me, while I wonder if PE classes were banned in their class. Pardon the quick vent.

Eventually, when I was working at an office in MD last year, I had this one guy that brought back horrible memories by attacking me with rude comments about me being small, what I did was I ended up going to lunch with him and my other coworker and of course this guy suggested me to having a happy meal. Long story short, I schooled the mess out of him by eating my huge serving of chips/salsa, quesadilla, enchillada, and tacos; He ended up paying the bill. I felt so accomplished to prove him wrong that day.

It took me a while to accept my shape. I remembered trying my best to at least get fat. I would drink Ensure shakes everyday- DISGUSTING!!!!, eat foods with high calories of fat, “pigging out” at buffets, eating ice cream and sweets, the whole 9 yards!! Still no luck. I even had hopes of waiting until I turned 18 or 20 to gain the weight, and I was looking forward to the Freshman 15 when I started college, but after I graduated there was no 15 extra pounds. Then I said, “I guess I’ll just wait until I have my first baby to gain weight.”  It’s funny because it’s also genetic, I weighed more than what my mother weighed when she married my dad when she was 27. But now, I’m taking advantage of my monster metabolism and my amazing shape. The things people say to me don’t phase me anymore. I love to eat and work out.

Allow me to share you the 7 things that slim/slender people are tired of hearing:

1. “OOOOoooh! You are so SKINNY!!!!”

The most famous quote I hear from others. I know that I’m skinny, I don’t need a reminder. Plus, the way many people use this quote is like I’m lying in my dying bed with a feeding tube attached.

2. “Where does all that food go???”

When I hear this question, I try so hard not to speak in fluent sarcasm. If you would like to know where my food goes, allow me to take you back to A&P class about the digestive system.

3. “Why are you working out? You don’t need to workout.”

Not everybody who is at Planet Fitness is aiming to becoming the Biggest Loser. Exercise is not only a means of weight loss, but also weight gain and being able to run a marathon. I work out for strength training and there is nothing wrong with a little bit of sculpting and toning. 😉

4. “What size do you wear? a size zero??”

Even though I have a pretty tiny waist line, I don’t remember the last time I wore a size zero dress. The last time I attempted to wear one, I had my mother and sister help me to take it off without me ripping the stitch. Don’t get me started on wearing a size 2.

5. “You are blown by the wind skinny!”

Seriously?! Blown by the wind?? I’ve dealt with a good amount of wind while camping in Wisconsin and I don’t remember being blown away to Lake Ontario.

6. “Are you anorexic?”

The question is, Do you know what anorexic means? Allow me to give you a brief definition of Anorexia Nervosa, “Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that makes people lose more weight than is considered healthy for their age and height. Persons with this disorder may have an intense fear of weight gain, even when they are underweight. They may diet or exercise too much or use other ways to lose weight.” -National Library of Medicine

If you have seen my posts on FB and Instagram, then you will know that I, Darnisha Marie Thomas, am far from anorexic.

7. “Can you handle ALL of that food on your plate?”

Uh, yeah. If I couldn’t then it wouldn’t be on my plate especially it’s a good serving of Southern Style mac n’ cheese, collard greens, cornbread, or any good Mexican food.

There are many people who have been hurt for being called “skinny” and other rude names. Many of us are not skinny by choice, we have monster metabolisms. We can be the biggest foodies of all time. We love to eat just a much as anybody. So next time, be mindful of what you say to other people, whether they are “small figured” or “full figured.” Just as long as everybody is healthy is what matters the most. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

PS: To those of my sistas who are badly teased about being “bony” like I was, tell them bullies, “I am not bony, I am beautifully BONAFIDE!!!”

Have you dealt with any verbal abuse because of your size? Feel free comment below.

3 thoughts on “What not to say to a “skinny” person”

  1. That had to be written by me! Even the Ensure thing! I did 3 gross Ensures a day (they are very unhealthy by the way) on top of my food for an entire year when I was in my late twenties. it did nothing. I’ve had 3 kids – nothing. I’m 45 now. I was teased as a kid, but it has only gotten worse. Total strangers have something to say. A nun. Yep, a nun, was badgering me last week about my size. I had just met her. I have tried many avenues to “teach” people to be nice. It just seems to egg them on. Being large is now the norm and being small is considered out of the norm. Working in health care, I can tell you that being large and/or eating an unhealthy diet and being sedentary are the biggest killers. Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and joint breakdown are all directly related to being overweight, eating unhealthy foods and not moving. These diseases are killing more people than smoking ever did.


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